Dating for married guys

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I was bewildered by the lack of anything remotely resembling romance in my life; yet at the same time, I thought how could it have turned out any other way?

It’s a little perverse, the curiosity I have about these men’s home lives.

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Sex at 29, after a prolonged virginity that wasn’t the result of religious beliefs or a commitment to not having sex until marriage or extreme undesirability.

Alone as I finger-comb my hair and note that more silver is threading through the dark brown.

Alone as I slip my mouth guard in because I’m a clencher and a grinder.

By the time we made it to the bedroom, he was so drunk that I just wanted him to fall asleep, to silence his endless crooning of how sweet I was, how luscious my body was, how rotten he was.

He took half a Viagra, then slumped back against the pillows, mumbling, “I can’t … get it up.” His silver quiff, which he had only recently stopped dyeing brown, gleamed in the dark.

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